Your Urinal Posture And What It Says About You:

This post is geared mostly to men, but women might find it insightful as well.  Over the years, I’ve noticed five distinct and reoccurring postures at the urinals at work and in public restrooms.  So I bring you:

Your Urinal Posture And What It Says About You:

  1. The “Single Hand On Hip” Pose:  You’re a “go-getter” but very impatient. The mere act of emptying your bladder is a major disruption in your busy day.  You stare down, as if to say, “Common! Let’s move this along!” You’ve considered having a catheter installed.  You’re probably prone to road rage incidents.
  2. The “Double Hand On Hips” Pose (The Super Hero Pose): You’re extremely self confident in your ability to hit a target using no hands.  You enjoy chatting with the fellow at the neighboring urinal about last night’s sporting events or a funny thing you saw on the interweb.  You can see he’s uncomfortable but you don’t care.
  3. The “Two Hands Behind The Head” Pose (often staring at the ceiling):  You’re also extremely self confident.  To a fault.  You’re confidence is based not on your ability to hit your target using no hands, but on the fact that you have a change of pants in your desk drawer.  You’re prone to fits of maniacal laughter.  You may be a serial killer.
  4. The “Forehead On The Wall” Pose (sometimes accompanied by a fist pounding on the wall just above your head):  You’re having (or are on the verge of) a mental breakdown.  You just can’t take it anymore.  You know that the relief of peeing will be the highlight of your day.  You hope no one hears you softly sobbing.  We do.
  5. The Long Shot:  You stand two feet back from the urinal and give it your best shot.  You’re not as good as you think you are.  You’ve been heard making comments like, “That’s what janitors get paid for.”  No one likes you.

***Please note that these are examples which deviate from the “Standard Pose” which comprise the majority of men.  (Also note that a majority is simply more than 50%)

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