Hogwash Review: Two Scotts Barbecue

If you’re a guy and you’re not that passionate about your job (and you’ve glanced at the TV while your wife watches the Food Network), you’ve probably said something like the following to your buddies over a few beers:  “We should totally open a BBQ joint!”  Your buddies then wholeheartedly agreed and you spent the next 15 minutes developing your business model, leaving out some of the “minor” and “inconvenient” details.  A solid plan in place, you tried to keep your momentum by pitching this grand idea to your first major investor… your wife.  Admittedly, you’re overly excited at first and you miss some of her non-verbal (but vital) feedback (i.e. eye-rolls, head shaking, Facebook checking).  She quietly lets you proceed until you stop to catch your breath, then, in the same voice she uses to explain to your toddler why he can’t paint the dog, she reminds you that you have never smoked meat in your life and know nothing about the restaurant business.  You’re frustrated at first because you see her “logic” as lack of vision, so you return to your friends to break the bad news, but before you can one of them says, “We should totally open a bar!”, and you’re off down the next rabbit hole.  

Fortunately for us, this did not happen to Scott Hartmann and Scott Leucht of Two Scotts Barbecue in Grand Rapids, MI.  This small BBQ joint, located across the street from Mitten Brewing Company on Leonard St., has been quietly gaining steam over the last few months in the same manner that all good BBQ joints do… by word of mouth.  I finally had the opportunity to visit Two Scotts for lunch today and I must say I was more than impressed.  From the moment you walk in, you know you’re in for good “Q”.  All the tell-tale signs are there.  The simple menu of meat done right, the crowded ordering line, the quick moving staff, and the absence of unneeded frills that would otherwise distract from your mission: eating meat.  I myself only tried the pulled pork sandwich today, which I don’t mind telling you was the best I’ve had in Grand Rapids, but I did creepily stare at other patrons as they feasted on brisket, burnt ends, rib tips, and chicken.  (I apologize if I accidently made eye contact with you at lunch today.) All of which confirmed that I will be visiting again soon and you should too.  Get down there early because the line gets long and they sell out fast!

To the two Scotts of Two Scotts:  Thank you.  You’re doing God’s work.*  I’d like to meet you someday because I’d be willing to bet you both smell amazing all the time.

*God loves BBQ, which is why there were so many animal sacrifices in the Old Testament.  So take that, Vegans!

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