“Ask Brett” – Hooah Bars and Rip Its – Aug. 21

On August 10, O.E. Wrote::

Dearest Colleague and War-Pal,

It would be a great pleasure to read your thoughts on the Army’s former use of the hooah bar and the famed ripits (sic) and the impact these nutritional/energy aids had on increasing the probability of both IED strikes and negligent discharges.

Additionally, aside from being Tinker Bell’s fairy sister, what are you thoughts on, Periwinkle, the color of course and not the flower.

Dear O.E.

First and foremost, I feel I must explain to my “civilian” readers, what “Hooah Bars” and “Rip Its” are. Both are “energy aids” provided by the Army to our U.S. Soldiers in current combat theaters. The Hooah Bar is a compacted mixture of sugar, whey protein, cow dung, sawdust and sadness (and occasionally dipped in chocolate). Its texture and taste were similar to that of composite decking materials. The Rip It is a goat pee based energy drink, which is served in incredibly small cans to promote maximum aluminum waste. As for your original inquiry, I do not believe either item increased the probability of IED strikes, but the violent spasms these invoke have definitely led to a fair amount of negligent discharges (the Army’s term for the accidental firing of one’s rifle, pistol, grenade launcher, canon, TOW missel, etc…).

Finally, on Periwinkle. I’m glad you clarified between the color and the flower. I don’t think anyone wants to hear another one of my tirades on Periwinkle the flower. As for the color, I’m more of a Lavender guy, but what do I know…

Thank you for your inquiry!

Brett

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