This, my friends, is not a penguin as some might think. It is actually a rare Artic Vampire-Bat and even more rare is that they appear to have captured it on film mid yawn. When this specific type of bat yawns it produces a frequency of sound-wave that will stop a human heart and scramble signals to the brain. Tragically, the camera man who took this picture most likely did not survive his encounter. The Arctic Vampire-Bat feeds primarily on Arctic Vampire-Mice, Arctic Vampire-Grasshoppers, and an assortment of Arctic Vampire-fruit. They will not eat anything not of the Arctic Vampire family… except the occasional Mr. Goodbar which seems to be their guilty pleasure. If you are ever cornered by a roving gang of Arctic Vampire-Bats (yes, they travel in gangs… and they rove instead of fly) put a mirror in front of them. Unlike most Vampire species, the Arctic Vampire-Bat can indeed see its own reflection and is quite vain.
(Circa 2006)