Hogwash Nature: Arctic Vampire-Bat

Scary Penguin

This, my friends, is not a penguin as some might think.  It is actually a rare Artic Vampire-Bat and even more rare is that they appear to have captured it on film mid yawn.  When this specific type of bat yawns it produces a frequency of sound-wave that will stop a human heart and scramble signals to the brain.  Tragically, the camera man who took this picture most likely did not survive his encounter.  The Arctic Vampire-Bat feeds primarily on Arctic Vampire-Mice, Arctic Vampire-Grasshoppers, and an assortment of Arctic Vampire-fruit.  They will not eat anything not of the Arctic Vampire family… except the occasional Mr. Goodbar which seems to be their guilty pleasure.  If you are ever cornered by a roving gang of Arctic Vampire-Bats (yes, they travel in gangs… and they rove instead of fly) put a mirror in front of them.  Unlike most Vampire species, the Arctic Vampire-Bat can indeed see its own reflection and is quite vain.

(Circa 2006)

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