July 1, 2014

“Walk softly and carry a big stick… but don’t chew bubble gum at the same time, because you’ll probably trip… and then poke yourself with the stick.”

-Theodore Roosevelt, circa 1901, (this quote is typically not seen in its entirety)

June 25, 2014

“Kick a dog and it will bite you.  Kick a cat and it will scratch you.  Kick a platypus and it won’t do jack, cause platypuses are pansies.”

-An excerpt from Charles Darwin’s drunken unpublished “research” paper, Animals I Secretly Loathe”  circa 1879

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